Blood Sweat & Barbells

The title of this post fully encapsulates the main idea that is CrossFit. There aren’t any fancy machines. No treadmills, Stairmasters, or Ellipticals. Mirrors are non-existent. There’s nothing pretty about a CrossFit gym. There’s nothing to take away from the workout itself. Blood and sweat (maybe some tears and definitely some vomit) are commonplace. The camaraderie and support is unwavering, even despite the competitive nature of most of the CrossFitters at the gym - these workouts will take any inflated ego and quickly deflate it.

Take a look at some of the people that workout at the box gyms. Some don’t sweat. Many laugh and talk through their workouts with their friends (and the laughter is not brought upon by the incredulity one feels regarding the workout itself). Chances are, some of those people leave the gym without feeling like they’ve had their asses kicked. Not once during my CrossFit workouts have I thought to myself, “I don’t feel like I’ve worked out hard enough.” Today was no different.

I’ve been working out with M for about two months now. I can tell that I’m getting stronger – I can do 10 pullups in a row, 10 pushups with my chest hitting the floor, among other things – and fitness wise, I know I’m improving. Every time I do CrossFit, though, I’m reminded that I’m far from where I want to be, far from being close to par with the other girls at the gym, and far from being able to compete – and do well – at any sort of CrossFit games.

Today, I did Elizabeth (hehe – catch the sexual overtones? There’s a lot of that where CrossFit is concerned). 21-15-9 reps of 95 pound squat cleans and ring dips (which I do with a band – like I said, I’m far from where I want to be). For some reason, I felt that I would be able to do this workout in good time. I’d done squat cleans before, and I’m relatively strong. No problem, right?

Wrong.

Ten squat cleans in, I knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t breathe, I was seeing stars, and each clean took every ounce of energy I possessed. I’d never felt as strong an urge to quit during a workout as I did today. I wanted to throw up, faint, and cry all at the same time. During the first round, I honestly felt like it was going to be near impossible to finish the workout. I just didn’t think I had it in me. I kept shaking my head at M who, to his credit, was being super encouraging – I probably would have been yelling at me if the situation was reversed. I could only think two thoughts for the entire 19 minutes and 34 seconds of the workout – “I’m going to die” and “don’t let M down”.

I think I was on the floor for a good 5 minutes after I was done, and I only got up because M told me to move into a sitting position (yes, I was lying down). He captured my sentiments exactly – “I’ve never seen you so beat up by a workout before.” I don’t think I’ve ever had that much trouble getting through a workout, especially one that involved strength training. It was a very humbling – and painful – experience, and further proved to me why CrossFit is possibly the best workout ever.

I have a very love/hate relationship with CrossFit, but I’m in it for the long haul. After all, what better way to measure your abilities than to constantly, without fail, push yourself past the point that you thought was the end?

I just hope I don’t burst into tears one day. How embarrassing would that be?

Love,

Bella

Oh, by the way, the guy in the video is M. He's my go-to guy for anything CrossFit related - pictures, videos, explanations, and training (obviously).