50 Shades of Grey: What's the Allure?

I was pretty excited to read these books. I mean, they were promoted as novels that would revolutionize women’s sex lives and encompass what every woman wants. Um, yeah I want to read that shit. Who wouldn’t?

I was a bit taken aback to find that the words “control” and “dominance” were used liberally in the book’s back cover description of Ana and Christian’s “love” story. Still, I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt.

It wasn’t until I was less than half way into the first book that I realized I wasn’t wishing I was Ana. In fact, I couldn’t fucking stand her. She has no back bone, no self-confidence, and reveres a man who follows her everywhere and tells her what to do. She thinks she doesn’t deserve this man and feels lost without him.

Are you fucking kidding me? THIS is what every woman supposedly wants? Not only to feel less of herself without “her man” around, but also a man that controls her every move and tells her how to dress, how to act, and what to EAT, for Christ’s sake? A man that gets off on dominating her to the point of punishment, expects her to submit to him, wants her to call him “Sir”, and not look him in the eye? That's good sex?

I would punch him in the fucking throat.

(And the fact that she doesn't end up signing his little contract doesn't mean she fights back against his dominance - throughout the entire trilogy she's more concerned with not making him angry than she is about what she wants).

But I kept reading. I was waiting for the racy and revolutionizing sex scenes. There were none. Seriously. If he wasn't trying to punish her, then they were gazing into each others' eyes. None of it was sexy, racy, or "blush enducing", as I've heard it described. I’ve read better.

I hope that women don’t read these books and think submission to a partner - sexual or otherwise - is something they should want or need, or that they shouldn’t feel whole without their significant other around. That’s some crazy shit, y’all. My momma raised me to be a stronger woman than that.

Love,

M

Happiness Scale

Isn't this photo SO artsy and meaningful? I thought so...

One of the groups that I have to attend with my job is based around recovery and it about recognizing your triggers and knowing what keeps you well.

Okay, so I didn’t realize that I needed a group to help me figure this out, but I also thought that it sounded like a cool blog topic.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling amazing. On the happiness scale, I’ve been feeling pretty low. It takes a lot to be happy, and some are just better at it than others (I am SO not one of those people). But I do know that there are some things that, when I do them, I’m more likely to feel calm, healthy, and happy. I invite you all to make a similar list! Yay!

1) De-Cluttering. It has come to my attention that the state of my apartment is in direct correlation to the state of my mind. It’s shocking. Michael G. Scott once brilliantly said, “A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind.” How right he was. When my apartment is clean(ish) and tidy, I sleep better and my mind feels calmer.

2) Eating healthily and less. I hate that this is a major factor in my happiness scale, but such is life. When I eat bad food, especially too much of it, I not only feel guilty, but the physiological ramifications of those food choices are enough to make me realize that I can’t eat shit and get away with it. I feel groggy, sluggish, depressed, and unmotivated when I eat things that aren’t “real” (ie. Chips, cookies, Kraft Dinner…). You'd think I'd learn and stop eating it...

3) Exercising. Again, I hate that this is a key part in my happiness, but when I move, I feel better. Simple as that. Not to say that I don’t love sitting around in my PJs watching movies all day sometimes, but if I haven’t exercised in a while, the guilt and the feeling of grossness (it’s a word) add up to a bad thing.

4) Laughing. Doesn’t matter with whom or at what, but laughing instantly ups my mood. I have a toolbox of movies and TV shows – and people! – to go to when I need a pick-me-up. Never fails.

Basically, it’s knowing how to take care of yourself. When you know what makes you happy, you have a better chance of keeping your “happiness scale” (I am so patenting that term) on an even keel.

Love,

M

Duck Blind

Huh. Really.

My "stepbrother", for lack of a better term, visited me and my co-worker at work the other day for lunch. Being in the military, he shoots stuff, spends weeks in the field, and knows how to do most outdoorsy things. AC, my co-worker, is a born and raised farm girl who grew up camping and shooting at targets. Both are savvy in the hunting/camping/fishing/outdoorsy world.

I, on the other hand, was born and raised in a small city and dislike camping, nature, and generally anything that involves being in the wilderness at the mercy of bugs, bears, and dirt. Unless we are camping near a sweet-ass lake and there are copious amounts of beer, bugspray, and people to do the hard stuff for me - and there is not a rain cloud in sight EVER - chances are that you won't find me anywhere near a tent for longer than a day. I like beds and air conditioning. Sue me.

Anyway, being with two like-minded people and talking about hunting meant that I tried my hardest to contribute to the conversation. It didn't work out so well...

Me (rather proudly): I bought this great hat that's got duck blind on it with pink trim and says 'Mossy Oak'! You know, like the hunting company!

AC: Duck blind?

Me: Yeah, like the twig-style camouflage!

RP: That's just called camouflage. Where did you hear the term 'duck blind'?

Me: My country songs...

RP: Right. 'Duck blind' is an actual thing, Mal. Like something you sit in."

Me: ...But the songs are all like, "Sitting in the duck blind"...I thought that meant dressed in special camo...

This comment was met with laughter from both of them. Even AC knows what duck blind is! I wonder how many people I've mentioned duck blind to like I know what I'm talking about. As my Mom said, I'm a smart woman, but there are just some things that I have no idea about...

Thank GOD I learned this before trying to hit on a guy that likes that shit...

Love,

M