Some Random Thoughts...Musings, If You Will...

(This is my happy place that I venture to a lot in my mind. One day, I will go for real...)

Here are a few things that I can’t help but mention today. I don't know why.

Children
I'm not a huge fan of children. Gasp, shock. Whatever. There are a select few that I love, but they are the exception. This, however, is not the case for most women (aside from my Mom). It seems that the normal reaction for them is to coo and gush and talk like babies in those extremely high pitched voices that I only reserve for puppies and bottles of wine.

Reputations
I don’t know if people in general like me or just think I’m weird. I ger an awful lot of weird looks. And that's fine. I mean, I laugh at weird moments and tell jokes that don't often make sense to most people, but if they think I'm crazy and want to make fun of me, they can at least let me in on the joke. I like a good joke. I can handle it.

Looking Cool in Front of a Hot Guy
Whenever I try to share a joke with a hot guy, it never turns out how I want it to. I mean, I've been in situations where he'll say something, and my process will literally commence as follows: “Is he joking? Is that a joke? I can’t tell. If he’s joking, then I should joke back. But what if he isn’t joking? What if he’s serious and he’s actually disagreeing with my [utterly hilarious] thoughts about [insert mundane topic here]. That would be pretty stupid but it might happen. Oh wait, he’s smiling. He’s looking like he expects a witty comeback. It was a joke! Quick, say something cute! The "something cute" usually involved poking fun at him and then giggling. And he'll laugh. And then I start planning our wedding.

Acting like You Know All about a Sport to Impress a Hot Guy
It's common knowledge that most men like sports. And most Canadian men like hockey. As such, I decided to do a crash course on the teams in the playoffs (all I knew is that the Leafs didn’t make it) to find out who was first and what players played on which team. You know, just in case a hot guy wants to talk about hockey. Unfortunately, I recently asked a very attractive man what team he picked in the fantasy draft. I didn’t realize you picked players and MADE your team. (Which, now that I think about it, makes much more sense than my way of just picking an already established team. Because that wouldn’t be fantasy. That’s all reality, baby). So he asks if I mean which players are on his team, and I of course act as though that’s what I meant the entire time. I figured that if I just kept acting like I knew what I was talking about, maybe I would get myself invited to watch the games with him. At his house. In his bed.

The Arrogance of Blogs
See all of the sections above for a first hand account of what I mean.

I was thinking today about taking a blogging course that teaches one how to write a blog for fame and profit. And then I got thinking about how the conversation with the teacher would go, should he single me out for my beauty and ask what my undoubtedly witty and intellectually stimulating blog was about. What would I say? What could I say besides “it’s a blog about my non celebrity life that discusses issues such as my love for chocolate, my adventures on the train, the embarrassment I undergo whenever speaking to a male, and the pain I put my body through during CrossFit. It is, admittedly, a shockingly self absorbed space of redundant facts; a recollection on my normal, mundane life that I feel people should not only want to read, but which should deliver to me a copious amount of money and worldwide fame.” Because really? What else is a blog besides a place for even the most modest person to talk purely about themselves, their beliefs, and their values and then want people to be interested in it? A place to canvas for issues relating to the greater good of people? Yeah, sure…

Happy People
I met this one really nice lady at the hospital I volunteer at who is very sweet but who I think might turn into that creepy alien lady like in that movie when she asks the girl about her unborn child and then goes crazy. It’s called Legion (I didn’t know that, I had to ask CD – also, it’s not about aliens. That’s what happens when you don’t watch a movie but try to reference it). Anyway, this lady is very positive – almost oddly so, as though she’s living in a perpetual state of high-ness (granted, she IS a mental health patient, but still). According to her, every day is special because it has something unique to it, so she loves every day. I love this lady, but her positive outlook on life is seriously messing with my pessimist views. But she always calls me beautiful, so I can’t be annoyed by her too much.

Now, there is another volunteer who does not call me beautiful, so I can be annoyed by her all I want. She talks with such a high voice that I jump when she says things. No one is that happy, okay? Don’t pretend like you’re that excited to see me. I know you’re not. Mostly because I am not that nice to you.

Stupid People
A guy called me once asking to speak to someone that they had just tried to call. I asked if they had been connected to that person’s voicemail. He said no. So I asked if that person’s voicemail had told him to press zero and that’s how he got to me. He said yes.

Honestly?

For anyone that does read this blog, I hope you know how much I appreciate that you do.

Love,

Bella