(My New Crush)
Train Husband
Last week, my curiosity as to where Mr. Bella works got the better of me. I decided to nonchalantly follow him through the subway to find out which line he took (what? I was going on the subway anyway). Turns out, he takes the same line I do, he just gets on closer to the end (which coincidentally is a much quicker way for me, too – learning something new AND standing in close proximity to my husband!). At this point, I felt somewhat like Phoebe when she is stalking the guy that used to stalk her because he thought she was her sister and she hides behind the garbage can…never mind. Anyway, when we got on the subway, I basically peered at him from the corner of my eye for about 10 minutes when…drum roll please…we got off at the same station! What are the chances?! (And no, I didn’t just jump off when he did – I did have a job to get to, thankyouverymuch). I tried to follow him all the way to my office but he walks too fast…as in he may or may not have been running, fearful of the clip-clip of my heels as they descended upon him…
Two days later, I offered to let him go ahead of me on the train, despite the fact that there was no one behind me and letting him go was fairly pointless and perhaps a little stupid. I also waved him on with my hand still in my pocket, so I may have resembled a penguin. He said thank you, like the gentleman he is, and I said you’re welcome. Well, I said it in my head. It came out as “mmcomeshmm.”
He loves me. He’s just unaware of it right now.
Something Borrowed
When telling M that I wanted to see this movie, his reply was that it looked stupid and it was just all about infidelity. I told him I love infidelity.
Okay, so that’s not entirely true. But I do love the sort of movies where the people that are CLEARLY meant to be together but aren’t eventually end up hooking up. It’s just so…I don’t know…satisfying? I think I loved this movie so much because I saw myself in the main character. She was kind of shy, kind of mousy, with brown hair and glasses. She had everything set up perfectly for her first class and then ended up dumping all of her pens on the floor. It was just so me (yes, I am aware of how conceited that sounds). So when she fell in love with the guy she met at school but was terrified to tell him and he ended up with someone else, I felt like I was watching every single moment that happened to me unfold on screen. I can’t count how many times I’ve liked a guy but couldn’t imagine telling him because really, why on earth would he want me? And I don’t say that for sympathy or pity. I honestly could not believe that he would want me when there are much prettier, smarter, and funnier (well, maybe not funnier) women out there. So I would play the friend, encouraging him to approach other girls and talking about other guys to him. And what ended up happening? Exactly what I “seemed” to want to happen – he ended up with someone else, and I wound up hurt and confused. But it wasn’t his fault. Not in the least. It was my fault for not telling him how I felt. Not to say that he would reciprocate the feelings, but at least I would know. Rejection may hurt for a while, but knowing he has someone else and always wondering what if? That hurts much, much more.
Uncensored Mental Patients
This is exactly how it sounds. I volunteer at a psych hospital on the weekends, and I get to hear a lot of, well, everything, from the patients. These people are some of the sweetest, funniest people I’ve met, even if they aren’t trying. Most of them are really confused; they’re very lost souls that just want to talk. So I provide that.
And they provide me with entertainment.
The other day we were talking about working out and how none of us are particularly happy with where we are in terms of health. Most of them think I am amazing, which is part of the reason I enjoy it there so much (kidding!). So when I said that I wasn’t happy with myself, one lady piped up and said, “Oh no, you look great! I mean, you could lose 20 pounds, but you look good…” Um…I…okay…
One of my patients even protects me in the other 6 worlds that are in this universe as he loves me “unconditionally”. He also speaks to me through his mind. I’ve yet to converse with him through such mediums. But, you know, maybe one day…
Perhaps one of the best conversations I’ve heard in a long time occurred between a young girl and a guy in his 20s:
Guy: What’s a surrogate?”
Girl: When you have a baby for someone else.
Guy: Oh. I thought you were a surrogate.
Girl: Well, I thought I was. [Thought?!] But I asked my boyfriend if my baby was mine or Natalie Portman’s, and he said mine.
Guy: Well, she’s got to be yours. She looks just like you.
[Yeah, because THAT’S the reason]
My GOD I love these people. Even if some of them are cops, mafia heads, or developing a super race.
Love,
Bella
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