The Day I Almost Lost My (Pitiful) Life Savings to Rogers

This is an accurate portrayal of my reaction.

The other day I received an online payment notification from Rogers.

 

"That's strange," I said to myself, out loud and in a British accent. "I cancelled my account with them. This must be for any overlap that I used. It shouldn't be too much."

 

AMOUNT TO BE PAID: $790.

 

Excuse me?

 

I literally almost started to cry, because my bank account balance flashed before my eyes, and that poor little account could not handle a withdrawal like that. It just couldn't. (So okay, it wasn't my life savings but like...it was pretty close, you guys...)

 

So I called Rogers. And the conversation went something like this:

 

Me: [In a really high pitched, fast paced voice] "Hi I just got a bill for like a million dollars from you guys because it said I didn't return the equipment but I have the equipment I was just told that I had to give it back by mid-October and it's not mid-October yet so I didn't return it I don't know why I didn't return it yet I just didn't but I really really don't want to pay that money and I promise I will return it right away so I don't have to pay it right?!"

 

Rogers Guy: "Uh...sorry, what happened?"

 

We cleared it up, and all I had to do was return the items. Simple enough. So off I went. I arrived at the little kiosk thing with my grocery bag full of the items, and explained my predicament logically and rationally:

 

"Hi. So, I have to return this stuff, because I got a bill for like a billion [it went up] dollars since I kept it, even though I didn't have to return it until mid-October. Crazy right?! So we're good now though, right? Like I don't have to pay anything? Like all the money is off the account? Because I sooo do not have that kind of money. And I really don't want to pay that. So we're good? [At this point he actually swung the screen to face me in order for me to see that yes, indeed, the balance was zero, just as he said - poor guy]. Everything is in there. I included the remote. Just to be safe. Are we good?"

 

Then he almost took my bag. I told him he could have it if he wanted it but he said no. And then he told me to "enjoy". I'm not sure what I am supposed to be enjoying. My life as a crazy person, probably.

 

Love,

 

M