Elf on the Shelf

The Elf on the Shelf is the latest craze in Christmas stories, and they fly off the shelves at work. They're also creepy as fuck and even though I'm an adult (technically, not in any other way, let's be real) I wouldn't want that in my house. Seriously. Look at the picture. And the premise is that these elves work for Santa and will report back on how the kids behave to determine if they're naughty or nice. That's all I know about them.

Turns out, I should know a hell of a lot more when I'm working in the kids section, because then I may have avoided the following awkward conversation with a little girl when she asked about these weird little fuckers.

Little Girl: How do you get the Elf out of the box?!

Me: That seems like an odd question. You open the box?

LG: But you can't touch him!

Me: Er...what?

LG: If you touch him, his magic disappears!

Me: Right. Naturally. Well. I think that once you got him home, he'd get out of the box on his own and then do...whatever he does.

LG: But then why does he stay in his box in the store if he can get out?

Me: You ask a lot of questions. Maybe because he knows he has to wait to get home?

LG: Oh. That makes sense.

Me: Thank god.

Kids are exhausting.

Love,

M