“Are you guys watching The Bachelorette?” Any time I get to see my brothers compromise their masculinity, which actually happens more often than may be considered healthy, I jump at the chance to see them in action.
“I’m not; I’m going home to bed.” R, my 27 year old cousin by birth but who I consider to be another brother, works 7am-7pm shifts at OPG. The 10pm end time of The Bachelorette is too late for him to get his required amount of beauty sleep. “I’ll just stay for a bit.”
He was hooked by the first commercial.
M, 25, writes a running commentary for his own blog and documents his thoughts, and ours, as the show progresses. His excitement for the show borders on questionable. He maintains that he loves Ali; I think he loves to compare himself to the shirtless men while reassuring himself that he’s better looking than half of them. The love that boy has for himself goes beyond any love that he could have for another.
“Ali isn’t even that pretty, and her voice is SO annoying.” I really don’t like that girl. She’s too whiney and babyish for a 25 year old professional. News flash, honey: if a man wants you because you treat him as the best thing on God’s green earth, he’s probably not going to love you like you want him to.
“You shut your mouth,” R retaliates. Yet another man has been won over by Ali’s fake, and cheap looking, if you ask me, blond hair extensions. (The fact that I have a picture of Ali for this post makes me want to throw up).
Around the point where Kasey, the might-be-deaf-or-at-least-sounds-like-it guy from California, starts singing, I know we’re all here for the long haul.
“Oh, my God. Oh, my GOD. What is he doing? Why does he keep singing? What a loser.” M’s fingers are flying across his keyboard in his excitement to document the catastrophe that is unfolding on screen.
“This is painful. I think I actually feel sorry for him. She cannot give him a rose. No way. Why would she keep him?” See what I mean? The boys are so into it that they don’t even realize I’m laughing at them instead of Kasey. “She’s keeping him? Bullshit. He’s so creepy.”
When they start shouting advice at the TV (“dude, what are you doing?” “don’t say THAT” “oh, that was good, wasn’t that good? Well played, man”), I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy that these two men are in my family.
Fast forward to Ali’s group date with the guys in New York at the production of The Lion King. Jonathon’s excitement, while so outwardly feminine that it makes me wonder if he proposes group showers after working out, is what I fear would mirror my brothers’ excitement should they ever find themselves in the situation of possibly singing on Broadway.
I honestly think they might have been taking notes from Roberto, who chose to sing to Ali instead of to the pianist. “He IS kind of handsome,” R decides. What?
I know that they play up their act because, together, they really are hilarious. However, in moments of quiet when they are taking in all the drama instead of playing off each other’s all too accurate jokes of being gay, I get to witness their real feelings towards the show. These moments are little gems.
Case in point: Ali kisses Roberto after their part in The Lion King. R exclaims, “oooh!!” M gasps, “oh hello!”
I love those guys.
No comments:
Post a Comment