Dust house while singing Total Eclipse of the Heart into Swiffer duster.
Record fabulous singing voice in iPhone. Decide at this point to chronicle night in blog. Use iPhone Note app to write down thoughts. Knew it was a good purchase. Also really enjoy font used in Note application.
Realize that iPhone automatically corrects iphone to “iPhone”. Rather egotistical.
Listen to fabulous singing voice. Decide to try dancing instead.
Talk to self about dancing ability. Thank instructors in dance DVD for their kind words. Laugh about talking to self.
Dance instructor tells me to grab partner. Look around room. Briefly consider using pillow as partner.
Sweat profusely, perhaps more than when CrossFitting. Sweat in eyes. Shit. Momentary blindness.
Now have rug burn on balls of feet from dancing without socks.
Text same message to 5 different people about dancing espcapade. Hoping friends text me back. Beginning to think I am very emotionally needy.
Brother sends message making fun of me. Realize that I texted my brother on a Saturday night, when he’s with his own friends, about dancing to a DVD. No longer question why I was not invited to his friend’s cottage. Actually completely understand.
Start singing Dancing with Myself and congratulate self on incredibly witty and intelligent use of Artie from Glee’s song.
Google real singer of Dancing with Myself.
Find out it is Billy Idol. Feel like I should have known that.
Wonder why it surprises me that I am without a boyfriend, given my thought processes. Also seem to enjoy own company far too much to need to bring boyfriend into the mix. Though would not complain if Jake Gyllenhaal look-a-like wanted to get me drunk.
Decide that I cannot dance but is very fun and now vow to dance every night for an hour.
Interested to see how long this idea lasts.
Am very excited to write funny blog about my night. Speculate that it will not be as funny to others as it is to me.
Decide to have leisurely bath. With bubbles.
However, cannot stop narrating to self as though I am still writing blog. Feel I am far too funny to deprive world of my hilarity and begin to write more.
Find white tank top that’s been missing for weeks. Was in drawer. Very happy to be reunited with aforementioned tank top.
Received text message while writing notes. Almost dropped phone in water because the vibration scared me.
Realize that I just disclosed that I am using phone while in bath. Concerned about TMI.
Decide that very few people read blog and it does not matter.
Re-read notes and laugh to self about my funny rendition of night. Wonder if rendition is right word. Don’t care enough to check dictionary.
Almost dropped phone in water again. Decide it’s time to stop writing notes. Still excited to post blog.
Text more friends before going to bed.
Briefly wonder why I am not with any of said friends. Figure is best not to dwell on that fact as I may become depressed.
Watch Shall We Dance and dream about becoming professional dancer with Maksim Chmerkovskiy instead.
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